Q: What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A: About 45 pounds!
Q: What is the difference between a husband and a boyfriend?
A: About 45 minutes!
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Man: Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.
Doctor: When did you first notice this problem?
Man: What problem?
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“Yo mamma so stupid, she tried to commit suicide by jumping out her basement window.”
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Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didn’t do?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Sam: Good, because i didn’t do my homework.
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Q: How do you make a blonde’s eyes sparkle?
A: Shine a torch into her ear.
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Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.
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Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
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Q: Why don’t oysters give to charity?
A: Because they’re shellfish.
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Q: How can you get four suits for a dollar?
A: Buy a deck of cards.
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Q: How do you prevent a Summer cold?
A: Catch it in the Winter!